I don't want a housewife!
by supersandman86
Summary: Astrid changed a few months after the event of the 2nd movie and hiccup doesn't like it, will he get to the bottom of it and get back the astrid he loves. Note: Bit rush as on the way to work.


**Hi guys supersandman here, sorry for being away for so long, had a bit of a dilemma with my inner self, involving relationships, so decided to take a break from all this and as to make up for my time away, A nice short as a sorry gift as I start to plan out survivalist and indulge in my other love.**

 **He's a warcraft nerd!**

 ***Sigh* And of course mr knobcheese is still here, wade bugger off!**

 **No!**

 **Fine! Then shut up and enjoy the read!**

 **Whatever paladin!**

 **I don't want a housewife!**

It had been over six months since the event involving Hiccup discovering his mother was alive, Dragos invasion of her sanctuary and the death of not only the Alpha Bewilderbeast but also that of his father and chief Stoick resulting in not only Hiccup becoming chief but Toothless becoming Alpha after taking down the mad man and his Bewilderbeast, it took some time to get Berk back to some sort of normality after all that but thanks to Hiccups leadership skills thanks to his fathers experience and his time as leader of dragons edge, everything ran like clockwork to which the young chief found surprisingly easy to handle.

Well all except one thing...

Astrid

Over the last few weeks Hiccup had noticed his Fiancé and most fearsome warrior of his generation had suddenly changed.

For one thing she wasn't like her warrior self.

She didn't wear her armour anymore, instead went for more...womanly clothing instead.

She didn't even carry her axe anymore, something she took with her everywhere no matter what even now that it was damaged, past its sharpening limit and the handle is worn out, she still carried it as a symbol of who she is and of the Hofferson name so it baffled Hiccup why she would leave it behind.

But he wasn't the only to notice, pretty much everyone did as he discovered when he saw the twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut dragging a slighty stunned Snotlout towards him.

"Okay before I ask what happened, is he still alive?" Hiccup asked as he wave his hand in front the darked haired lad, getting no response whatsoever.

Ruffnut shrugged as she gestured to Snotlout before replying.

"Snots fine, just a little shocked"

"Very much so" Tuffnut finished nodding to his sisters reply.

Hiccup raised an eyebrow, what could have caused the stubborn Jorgenson to go into shock?

After all this was the same guy that got electrocuted by a Skrill and it still didn't shut him up.

But right here, no movement except for shallow breathes and blinking eyes.

Hiccup gestured for them to explain what happened with the twins looking at each other before answering in unison.

"Astrid"

That still confused Hiccup even more, Snotlout had been in encounters with Astrid before, all resulting in Swearing, beatings and even the occasional tossed into the water by Stormfly. He waited for the twins to continue their telling of events.

"Well it went like this H" Tuffnut carried on as Ruffnut followed.

"Snotlout was running away from Hookfang as usual"

"when all of a sudden he collides with Astrid who was carrying a basket at the time"

"both fell on the floor and all the contents fell out of the basket and onto the ground"

"What she did next was truly terrifying"

Hiccup halted them at that point as to guess the answer for himself "let me guess, she screamed at the top of her lungs and threatened to castrate him right there?"

"No" the twins both replied.

What he didn't expect was what came up as the answer.

"She just shrugged and said 'accidents happen' in a calm manner"

"And walked off like nothing happened"

At that point Hiccup was shocked, never in his whole life had she said that to Snotlout.

Something was definitely up with the love of his life.

This wasn't the only odd thing he heard from the village in the last few weeks. Most of the residence had their own encounters with Astrids new behaviour.

He needed to find out.

So he jumped onto Toothless after telling the twins to take Snotlout to the hall for a tankard of mead, something to calm the nerves as he flew over to the Hofferson hall, hoping to confront Astrid.

Unfortunately as he knocked onto the door, he was greeted by another blond, he future father-in-law, Alsted.

"Greetings chief, what brings you here, besides your Nightfury of course" he joked making Hiccup eyes roll at the humour of the elder Hofferson.

He like Alsted and his wife Helga, they were the few villagers that used to greet him in a friendly manner before the dragon war ended and were delighted when he started dating their daughter.

"Hi Mr Hofferson, I was wondering if Astrid was in"

Alsted gave the young Haddock a stern look before speaking.

"You know I've told you hundreds of times about calling me Mr Hofferson, to you it's Alsted, you are gonna to be my son-in-law soon"

This made Hiccup smirk as he replied.

"Okay, providing you call me Hiccup instead of chief"

Alsted only looked at him for a second before laughing.

"Touché Hiccup touché" he said between the laughters as he invited Hiccup into the house before giving him an answer to his question "unfortunately Astrid out in the woods with her mother picking berries"

This made Hiccup raise his eyebrow again in confusion as Alsted shrugged.

"I know, that doesn't sound like my little girl, usually she would be gathering wood while Helga gathered the berries, I've had several villagers asking if she's okay, to be honest Hiccup I'm not sure myself, all I can think of is she might be...you know"

Hiccups eyes went wide at what Alsted was suggesting.

"Oh no, me and Astrid haven't done that just yet, we want to wait for the perfect time so she's definitely not" Hiccup quickly said as his arms moved on their own accord, something he did when he explained something.

Alsted only laughed as he patted the lads shoulders knowing Hiccup would never, although he wouldn't have minded considering everything both he and Astrid went through but he also knew Hiccup wouldn't force her to either.

Hiccup meanwhile was thinking in his head at what was going on with Astrid, everything she'd been doing was so unlike her.

He needed to find out and knew only one way to do it.

He thanked Alsted for his help, even if he hadn't gotten any further, and went outside to an awaiting Toothless who he told of his plan as they flew in the direction of the forest.

Hiccup and Toothless made it to the clearing where he knew the berries grew at this time of year and hid themselves in a nearby tree.

Lucky for them, all the times spying on his former enemies from afar made the pair seem invisible, even to the ever observant Astrid Hofferson.

Speaking of which he spots her in the distance with her mother, both picking berries as Alsted said.

'what are you up to Astrid' he thought to himself as he looked through his satchel attached to Toothless as he produced what looked like a miniature version of the Thunder ear he invented years ago, he found that this too came in handy to hear at close quarters but still give him distance in case of escape was required.

He attached it to his ear as he adjusted the wider part in the direction of the two females just in time hear their faint conversation.

"Do you think he'll like it if I bake him something with this?" he heard Astrid ask her mother as she too looks confused.

"Astrid dear" she said as she sighed and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder "you're a great warrior and a fierce dragon rider, but cooking isn't you're best skill"

Hiccup had to agree on that, when she tried to make a bread stick and it became rock hard, flat and bent out of shape, she tried to throw it away and it came back, knocking out Snotlout as he came by.

"now Hiccup on the other hand, could make something out of this and be fit for the gods"

This made Hiccup blush hear this from his mother-in-law compliment on his cooking.

Astrid however wasn't taking no an answer.

"Mom! I can't rely on Hiccup to do the cooking, he has chieftain duties to do every day and as his future wife I need to have everything in the house prepared and ready for when he comes home. The cooking, cleaning, to wait on him hand and foot and when the time comes, to raise our children. Just like a perfect housewife of the chief should be"

Hiccup just froze on the spot after hearing what Astrid said 'perfect housewife of the chief?' he couldn't believe what he heard. The same could be said with Helga as she spoke again.

"Dear, is this why you've stopped training and dressing like that? So you look like a housewife?" Astrid only nodded to her question as her mother sighed "but that's not you and Hiccup knows this, he wouldn't want you to change"

Astrid however was as stubborn as they come and refused what her mother had said "no I need to change for Hiccup"

Hiccup however had heard enough as he waited for the pair to be out of sight as he got up upon Toothless with a hardened expression on his face as the sped towards the village.

"Not in Helheims chance is that going to happen!"

Astrid may be stubborn, but in no league Hiccup is.

And when he was stubborn, he had a plan.

A plan he was sure was stupid and crazy, but knew if it went right then all would fall into place afterwards.

He needed to speak to several people, including the riders, council, the Hoffersons, his mother and Gobber and tell them the plan too.

But first before all that he needed to get a certain axe for a certain Hiccup style tinkering.

 **One week later**

Astrid was confused, she hadn't seen Hiccup all week, he always seemed to extremely busy, if not being the chief but being a blacksmith too. She wondered if she had done something wrong to have him be this busy all of a sudden.

She too was worn out from all this housewife training she put herself through and was starting to miss her routine of training with her axe, which for some reason she couldn't find.

'Perhaps it was a good thing I can't find it' she thought to herself as she attempted to wash her clothes in the nearby river, watching as she noticed not just women but also their husbands helping each other out and wondered if her and Hiccup could do the same.

But she quickly shook that notion as she realised Hiccup will have his hands full with being the chief to worry about washing.

As she finally gave up with washing her clothes for one day and decided to head back into the village, she was stopped by a familiar Rumblehorn and his rider followed by the rest of the dragon riders.

Astrid looked at each one of their faces, they all wore stern expressions.

This made her think back and wonder if she really did do something wrong.

"Wh-what's going on?" she asked Eret, trying not to stutter.

Eret however looked down at her as he spoke.

"We are here, on orders of chief Hiccup, to escort you to the academy, immediately"

Astrids eyes widened in shock, Hiccup sent them to get her to the academy? But why?

"Wh-why? Wh-what d-did I do wr-wrong?" she could help but stutter, she was scared at what she did.

"We are here to escort you and nothing more" Eret finally said as he offered her a hand to lift her up upon Skullcrusher, she hesitatingly took it and as soon as she was safely on, took off towards the academy where she noticed all the villagers were gathers on the outside of the arena and in the centre stood Hiccup showing an expressionless look on his face, seeming almost stoic.

As she got off as soon as they landed, Eret lead her to the arena itself before walking away and shutting the large metal gates.

The crowd murmured and mumbled as she looked around before looking at Hiccup, still stoic, as he raised his left fist into the air to address the crowd.

"QUIET!"

Everyone went silent as Hiccup carried on speaking.

"It has been known throughout the generations that when there is conflict within the tribe that many options, under which the chief can deem appropriate, to resolve the situation, am I right?!"

The crowd shouted in unison 'yes' as Astrid didn't like where this was going.

"One popular method, is fighting until the other gave up or until the issues have been resolved!" he looks around until his eyes looked towards Astrid with a dark expression upon his face "and I choose that option to resolve this issue!"

Astrid couldn't believe what she was hearing, Hiccup, the love of her life and who knew loved her back, wanted to fight her.

She tried to back down with the only excuse she had.

"But I haven't got a weapon!" she blurted out, hoping to resolve whatever issue they had.

Hiccup however only laughed as he tossed her something long and wrapped up.

She grabbed it, but before she could determine what it was, she looked up suddenly to see Hiccup speeding towards her, inferno in hand and activated.

She barely had time to dodge his attack as he went on the offence again and again, each time she dodged, but never defended or went for the opening she saw in his attacks.

"Fight me Hofferson!" Hiccup shouted as he swung down again with Astrid just rolling out of the way before shouting "No!"

Hiccup growled as she refused and carried on his attacks, even with someone with only one leg, he was quicker than most with two functioning legs.

Astrid however still didn't want to fight, so, still clutching onto the wrapped item, ran for the gate only to realise it was locked and no matter her plea to be released, it was fallen upon deaf ears.

Several minutes went by with the same tactic on both parts before Astrid was cornered between the weapon racks and had no choice but to defend as she lifted up the wrapped item, thinking it'll not take the force of inferno.

Only it did, shocking her for a second.

In fact the only damaged inferno had done to the item was burn off the wrapping slowly, revealing a long handle with metal trimmings wrapped around it.

Astrid didn't have time to wonder however as she defended herself against another attack, followed by another and again.

Astrid was starting to feel her temper rise, it seemed the onslaught was getting nowhere.

"Why are you doing this Hiccup?! I thought you loved me?!"

This made Hiccups dark expression turn to anger as his swings got more fierce.

"Love you?!"

He took another swing as he carried on

"Love you?!"

And again.

"Of course I love you!" he took another swing "I have since we were teens!"

Astrid was taken aback but her defence was still high and her anger rising as well as she started to go on the offence too, unaware the wrapping had finally been burnt off the item.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!"

She took a swing at Hiccup causing him to dodge now.

"WHY PUT ME THROUGH ALL THIS?! IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN WANT A WIFE TO LOOK AFTER YOU!"

That was the point Hiccup was looking for as both of them swung at the same time, causing both weapons to clash, ringing clanged throughout the arena and spark flew from the impact as both struggled to out do the other, anger in both their faces before Hiccup finally shouted what he wanted to shout since it all started.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT A HOUSEWIFE!"

" **Roll credits"**

" **Shut up wade!"**

Astrid stood there in shock at what Hiccup said but before she could say anything, Hiccup had dislodged her weapon out of her hand, but also resulted in dislodging his own, leaving them both armless as he carried on the assault as well as speaking.

"I don't want someone to cook and clean for me! I can do that on my own just as easy! I had to!"

As the fighting carried on Gobber could only chuckle as Valka, who was stood next to him, looked at him in confusion.

"Lads right, had to teach him myself, what with yew and Stoick being bad cooks" he chuckled before the crazy dragon lady whacked him over the head with her staff.

"Shut up Gobber" she sighed as she carried on watching the onslaught.

Hiccup kept trying to knock Astrid off balance as she tried to do the same as she managed to get the upper hand and throws him to the ground as she shouts at him.

"Then what do you want Hiccup?!"

Hiccup didn't stay down for long as he smirked before sitting up in a crouched position tripping Astrid up as he lands on top of her as she struggle underneath him.

"I want an equal!"

This stopped her struggling as she looked at Hiccup in confusion, but never missed the sparkle in his green eyes.

"Wh-what do you mean?" her voice barely a whisper.

"I don't want someone to wait on me hand and foot Astrid, I want someone to challenge me, someone to tell me I'm right or wrong" he then smiled as she started to blush.

"Someone like you"

Astrid was lost for words, Hiccup didn't want a housewife? An equal? But what did that mean?

Hiccup saw the confusion on her face, so carried on.

"I don't want a housewife because I want you as my chieftess, one who can command authority along side me, have her own ideas"

"Bu-but what about housework? It can't be right for a chief to have an unkempt house"

Hiccup too had an answer for it.

"We share the housework"

Astrid contemplated what Hiccup said before her softened facial expression turned to a dark one, as she lifted legs from under Hiccups, tossing him off her and falling onto the ground with a thud as she lays on top of him as she lets fly dozens of punches in different directions, forcing Hiccup to defend himself.

"You mean to say I spent all my Thor-fucking-forsaken time in a fucking dress for nothing?!"

She carried on swearing at Hiccup as she beat him. Before standing up and going for the weapon she was holding only to realise it looked familiar.

As she examined it she gasped as she did recognise it.

"My axe, Hi-hiccup, what did you do?"

The axe, both head and handle had been reinforced with Gronkle iron making it stronger, including the tip of both sides had been coated and sharpened making it more deadlier, all the worn symbols had been renewed and re-coated, making them stand out, like the day it was made.

Hiccup stood next to her as she turned around with an astonished look upon her face as he replied.

"My wedding present to you milady, on a promise that you still carry on being the warrior I fell in love with"

Astrid looked at him, unable to express what she wanted to say or do.

Not in public of course.

With that she shouts only one word.

"STORMFLY!"

The dragon responded as Astrid straps the axe to her back before dragging Hiccup along to the now opened gates as she is greeted by her dragon as she throws Hiccup upon the saddle and she jumps on afterwards.

"You're gonna pay for this Haddock, and I'm so gonna enjoy it so much"

She gives him one final wink before the Nadder takes off into the air leaving everyone on Berk confused.

All except Gobber, Valka, Alsted and Helga who look at each other before the other three turn to the old smith.

"Well you won the bet Gobber, you knew this would happen"

Gobber only chuckled as he watched Stormfly fly off into the distance with the two love birds on top as he had the final word.

"Aye, so expect grandkids soon I'm guessing by the time she finished with him"


End file.
